The Lesser
by BE-Mistress
Summary: A relationship never stays the same the morning after. RikkuGippal, series of drabbles. Complete.


A/N: Four sequential drabbles. They do not pick up where the previous one left off.

* * *

.01. speechless  
_(Rikku worries)_

* * *

If _Love_ was a gigantic evil fiend with horns in three places and thick saliva dripping out from its sharptoothed mouth, it would eat me. It would walk up to me out of the blue, jump two feet in front of me, say "_Hiya, Rikku_" and swallow me whole, and I wouldn't even realize it until it was too late.

I don't think Gippal understands that. Doesn't understand that that sort of thing happens sometimes, y'know? One minute you're strolling down Mushroom Rock, twirling your blades around looking for a bright and shiny sphere and then _BAM_! You're in love.

Well, not so suddenly perhaps. There are a few intermediate events that occur before that 'BAM', but that's the general idea. Just the fact that your mission is to find a bright and shiny sphere, and yet all you can think about is finding _him_ and taking _him_ back to the airship for _examination_, must indicate something, right? Of course it does, I don't know why I asked.

… But does it _really_?

I mean, like really. Have I been eaten by the _Love Bug_ or am I just kidding myself and have really just been bitten by the _Crush Fiend_ instead? Nasty little critters. Always confusing you into believing something that's untrue and making you wake up naked in someone else's bed.

Not that that's necessary a _bad_ thing. But it'd just be nice to know if you can wake up and sigh to yourself and say, '_I'm in love_' instead of wondering if you gave in too early, and risk ending up with a broken heart. A broken heart is a useless heart really, and you'd have to throw it away and find another one. Or steal his. I wouldn't mind having his.

But he's not the type you can easily steal a heart from. I don't think the Love Fiend has ever managed to get anywhere near him. And it's hard to build a relationship with someone who doesn't even know where the relationship is supposed to be headed. Someone who doesn't really care where it's headed and whose philosophy is to _go with the flowww, homie_. To do things on the spur of the moment and live life unpredictably.

He thinks I worry too much. And that's _SO_ not true unless it's about things worth worrying over. Like, if he loves me back. That's worth worrying over. Or, if I am really in love with him in the first place. Answers to such questions can decide how you will live the rest of your life. Including what you will say to him once he wakes up.

And it's the fact that he's already woken up, is what makes me feel worried.

* * *

.02. meaningless  
_(Gippal's confused)_

* * *

Rikku does this thing. This thing where she looks at you, and looks at you, and looks at you until you die. Not the Yevon shoots your ass kind of die were it's all _BAM BAM BAM_ and your corpse rots on the cave floor for the next thousand years. But more like the Seymour kind of die where you become revived and she's still _looking_ at you again.

I don't like it when girls look at me – I mean, I like it. But not when they _look, look_ at me, y'know? The kind of _look-look_ that's trying to accuse me of something. That I haven't been listening to a word she's said. That all I care about is waiting until she leaves the temple and I can get back to work already without her and her _emotions_ all up in my face.

They're in my face _all the time_. And then she goes and gets mad at me for falling asleep on the CommSphere at four in the morning when she tries to tell me some story about Love Bugs and Crush Fiends, but they all live happily ever after in the end anyway.

She thinks I don't try to understand her enough. And one can't say I haven't _tried_. Rikku's a hard machine to take apart because she's all bolted up and super-glued together. But she expects, that because you're this big Al Bhed Machine Faction leader and all, that you're supposed to have the _perfect_ tool in your belt to crack her open and be astonished with the beauty that lies underneath that mop of braids.

And no one can argue, because the girl is a true beauty. Inside and out. The kind of beauty that comes with a price tag of three billion CommSphere calls every week and the eyes of her boisterous father and eccentric brother burning holes in the back of your head every time you pick her up to take her to 'just dinner'.

But then there's those times when she shows up on your doorstep with a smile the size of Mt. Gagazet and it makes whatever hell you've been through that day go away. Those times when her look is just a look, filled with softness and gentleness and happiness and it makes you feel kind of nice inside that you put that look in her eyes. Those times when she's wearing that little red dress of hers that makes you want to just shut down the entire workroom so you can do her right there on the desk.

Those times when she touches your hand, lets your arm around her waist, and makes you feel like she's your one and only special girl to love and protect.

I never asked to be her boyfriend.

So I don't know why she's standing here and looking at me, and looking at me, and looking at me like _that_.

Looking at me as if we're breaking up.

* * *

.03. effortless  
_(Rikku regrets)_

* * *

It's not that hard to climb up a dozen moving, flying rocks. It may be dizzying, but it's not that hard. What's hard is _staying_ on those rocks and not become a flying object yourself. What's hard is dodging a lightning bolt every other second when you really, _really_ don't like 'em despite what you told your friends. What's hard is having to peek down and seeing _him_ and _her_ and the _Love Bug_ dancing all around them.

Climbing the rocks, that isn't hard.

Gippal, when you tackle him on the bed with your little red dress on… is hard... When he rolls you over and kisses you wherever lips can go… it's still hard. When he's got you trapped underneath him and _burning_ inside and you try not to cry out - that's hard.

But _watching_ him all smoochy and touchy and slick smiles and slick hands. Having to sail on a flying rock and look down and _watch_ him do that to someone else. That's _tough_.

And your typical way of dealing with the toughies has always been a jab with your claws here or a fire spell there. But this toughie is not the ordinary kind of toughie. It's the kind of toughie that's only a toughie to _you_ unless you start an _I-Slept-With-Gippal-Anonymous_ support group and share the burden of the toughness with others. (But then again, you'll probably end up fire-spelling those suckers anyway.)

You'd think you can conjure a fire spell from up here and _really_ heat things up between them. But for some reason, you don't want to get caught. You don't want to have him turn his head up and see you flying around his temple on a magic rock with a ball of fire in your hands. And he makes a joke about you being green-eyed.

Breaking into his room, that isn't hard. Breaking into his heart, another toughie.

Him breaking you? Too easy. Too easy and you don't like it because it's too easy for him. So you break into his room. And you take his super-special collection of hair gel. And you give it to Brother and tell him _Rybbo Pendrtyo_!

And then it's hard for Gippal to get dates with his puffy hair. Even if it's only until you finally decide to get off the rocks.

* * *

.04. relentless  
_(Gippal regrets)_

* * *

You don't know why you let yourself end up in this situation again. Because it was so _meaningless _and she was so _speechless _and that's why you broke up even though you weren't really together in the first place.

I like her face. Maybe that's why. I like her nose. It's very cute.

I'm doing nothing strange, _nothing_ strange I tell you, but fixing machines and hands covered with grease up to my elbows. But then there she is. In my head and jumping around and dancing around. Face lit up like the spotlights on the temple ceiling. And I suddenly wanna take _her_ and put _my_ screwdriver in _her_ instead.

A hammer to the thumb usually follows that fantasy though.

And maybe that's for the best because I'm really not the kind of guy she deserves. She needs the kind of guy who'll stay up all night eagerly waiting for her to call. A guy who'll remember what she'd just said two seconds ago and keeps his eyes on her face, not seven inches below it. A guy who understands her _emotions_. And actually _wants_ them all up in his face.

I'm not that kind of guy. I don't like being kept waiting. I don't like having to listen when she talks and talks and _talks_ about things that are completely irrelevant. And sometimes, I just can't understand her. One moment we can be having a shouting match over who left the cap off the toothpaste, and the next I can have her pressed up against the wall and her legs wrapping tightly around my torso. Clothes… somewhere.

If she wants a guy for wall pressing then I'm her man. But don't be looking at me to fill in all the boyfriend needs.

I never _asked_ to be her boyfriend. I never _wanted _to be her boyfriend.

And now I don't know why. I haven't an utter clue as to why I came down here looking for her. Why I marched into her tent at two in the morning and demanded to know why she stopped calling me, and talking to me, and _looking_ at me.

So she looked. And we talked. And she promised she'd call me tomorrow night.

I leaned in to kiss her then, but she wouldn't let me. Said I hurt her and something like that. And then I reminded her of _who broke up with whom first_. And then it was like there was a tube of toothpaste between us again.

But then of course, after the toothpaste, you know what happens.

What did it mean? I don't know. Is she gonna tell me we're breaking up again? I don't know. I know I liked it though. I know I like her. I know I've missed her. And I know she's still not going to let me kiss her when she wakes up (because she's stubborn and wants to keep me on a leash).

So I lean my head against her ear, and whisper apologies and sweet talk in Al Bhed to her. I stop after a while because I sound like a lovesick idiot, and I know she'll tease me for it if she finds out. But it's the fact that she's fast asleep, is what makes me feel relieved.

* * *

_Thanks for reading. **Please Review.  
+**Edited Jan 29_


End file.
